Comparing 'Swords'
by Starship Artisan
Summary: Oneshot- Snake, Meta Knight and Lucas stumble upon a very... Interesting conversation between Ike and Link. Rated T for very obvious reasons.


A/N: This was based off of something I said earlier today. Basically we were playing Brawl with me, a couple of my friends, and one of my friends' younger brothers. I was being Ike (my friend decided to be Lucas just to piss me off because I obliterated with him in the round before -_-), my other friend was Link and my friends little brother was Marth. At one point in the match, me and my friend who was Link were facing each other and she made Link swing his sword. It didn't hit Ike so I made him swing his sword and it hit dead on, so I basically went 'Ike's sword is longer than Links!' which made her snicker and take it the wrong way... Thus how this idea came to me!

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters present in this story, nor do I own Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

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**Comparing 'Swords'**

It was a completely normal day in the Smash mansion. At least, it was for Snake, Meta Knight, and Lucas as they walked down the hallway. They were having a casual conversation, just like any other day.

"So I said, that isn't a hooker, that's Princess Peach!" Snake exclaimed as Meta Knight laughed. Lucas, not quite understanding the joke, had to make things awkward.

"...I don't get it..." The young boy said, Snake and Meta Knight looked at him in utter shock, they forgot that he was just an innocent little kid.

"Erm, um, forget it Lucas..." Meta Knight said awkwardly. Snake and Meta Knight made a silent agreement not to make any dirty jokes in front of Lucas anymore, or any child for that matter.

"Anyway..." Snake started trying to break the awkward moment, "Do you guys wan-" He was cut off by a voice coming from inside of Ike's room.

"No way! Mine is way bigger!" They heard a voice say, they all stopped and thought about it that voice sounded like... '_Link?'_ They all thought.

"Are you kidding me? Mine is obviously longer and has seen way more action than yours!" They heard Ike say proudly.

Snake and Meta Knight stood there mortified at what they had just heard. Lucas on the other hand, stood there confused and wondering what they were talking about, so he decided to voice his question.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Lucas asked innocently. Snake and Meta Knight almost scolded him for being so naive, but they remembered who they were dealing with. Lucas was still only a little kid after all.

"Um, I don't know, let's listen so we can figure it out!" Snake quickly said. They stood there a little while longer but could only hear shuffling coming from inside the room.

"See! I told you Link! Mine is longer than yours by like five inches!" They heard Ike exclaim.

"Well, Zelda never complained when I get the job done with it!" Link retorted.

Outside of the door, Snakes face went into a deep blush. If Meta Knight wasn't wearing a mask, he probably would be too. Lucas of course, stood there like nothing happened. He glanced up at Snake and had a bewildered expression.

"Why are you blushing, Snake?" The blond asked curiously, he didn't understand what was so embarrassing.

"It's nothing Lucas!" Snake whispered a little loudly, he didn't want Ike or Link to know that they were eavesdropping on this potentially awkward situation.

"But-" Lucas was cut off by Ike's strong voice.

"Come on man! Chicks dig the big ones!"

"What about men?" They heard Link asked curiously.

Snake and Meta Knight both choked when Link said that.

"Of course!" They heard Ike reply, "Especially them. They all wish they had one like this!"

"Hey guys what's going on?" They heard a voice behind them say a bit loudly, they turned around to be face to face with Marth.

"Listen" Was all that Meta Knight said as their attention was brought back to the door.

"I think Zelda would like it even more if it was as big as mine! She would probably be begging to touch it!" Ike said proudly. Marth's face paled as he listened. Snake just looked at him and said, "Yeah."

"Well, I am going to remove myself from this awkward situation and forget that this ever happened." Marth said quickly, he proceeded to walk away, but noticed Lucas standing there. He gave a quizzical glance to Snake and Meta Knight, who both just shrugged in response. Marth walked away as if nothing had ever happened.

"Shut up Ike... She loves to touch mine!" Link said in protest.

"Yeah right, yours has too many scratches!" Ike replied.

"It has just had a fair amount of use is all." Link said a-matter-of-factly.

Lucas was still very confused at what those two were talking about. Meanwhile, Snake and Meta Knight were still embarrassed about all of this.

"How about a little demonstration?" They heard Ike ask.

"Fine, then I will show you what mine can do!" Link said.

"Deal!" There was more shuffling, and soon the door opened to reveal a surprised Ike and Link looking at the three eavesdroppers.

"Oh, hey you three, you need something?" Ike asked them, looking normal.

"O-O-Oh No! We-e-e're good!" Snake stuttered nervously.

Ike and Link stood there in confusion at Snake and Meta Knight being flustered, they soon looked towards Lucas, silently asking what the matter was.

Lucas, deciding to answer asked, "What were you guys talking about?"

Ike and Link looked at each other then said in unison, "We were comparing our swords." They then held up Ragnell and the Master Sword. Snake turned a deeper shade of red as he and Meta Knight decided to leave.

"We're going to go brawl now, bye!" Meta Knight quickly said as he and Snake bolted down the hallway.

"What's wrong with those two?" Lucas asked. Ike and Link just shrugged.

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A/N: Ah, innuendos ftw. Hope you all liked it, please review! There will be cookies! :D


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